You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
