is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
