Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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