Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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