so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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