I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
