Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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