He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
