you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
