Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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