my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dignity is for republicans.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
