There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i drank out of a bidet.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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