my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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