I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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