Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
