I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
