you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
