Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
