We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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