i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I love having hate sex.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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