i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
