she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
