Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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