its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
