My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
