i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
