Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
