i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
