Did you just see the Batmobile???
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize