tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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