i just google imaged poop.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
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Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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