I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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