i can't believe i had my finger in that
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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