You smell like a Billy Joel song
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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