You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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