we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
