week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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