Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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