I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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