Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
