Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
