Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
