I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
