So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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