somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
