Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
