Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
