I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
