I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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