i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
