When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
