Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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