so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
