4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
