Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
