I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
