Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My feet surprised me
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