I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
