i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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