they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
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with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
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He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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