I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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