let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
