Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
