I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This baby is an asshole
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
